While "don't jump on the bed" and "clean your room" are extraordinary family rules, I like to zero in on family decides that show my children the main thing throughout everyday life. For our most important ones, continue reading.
Every family has a set of guidelines they want their children to follow at home. Make your room clean. Try not to bounce on your bed. Avoid hitting your younger brother.
Sure, these are all important guidelines for keeping your home in order. They even aid in adulthood preparation in many ways. After all, we adults can't just hit people and jump on beds everywhere. At the very least, we shouldn't.
As far as I might be concerned, however, raising capable and fair people must be about something other than getting your clothing and not hopping on beds. I maintain that my children should grow up to be thoughtful, care about others, follow their fantasies, love their loved ones. to be individuals who are content, healthy, and well-rounded and who value their individuality.
Therefore, I have a list of family rules that focus on what truly matters in life in addition to all of the typical household rules that help keep things in order. You will find a list of them below, in no particular order, along with some encouraging and gentle parenting quotes.
1. Take care of your family first. I know I said they weren't in any particular order, but this is an exception. It's our #1 decide and something that I trust my children follow all through their whole lives. Keep in mind that family is everything, above all else. Prioritize them.
Now, by that, I don't mean that I want my children to live with an attitude of "I take care of me and mine only." To put it another way, prioritize family, but not at the expense of others. At the point when I advise my children to put their family first, I'm thinking regarding hanging out, cherishing one another, and being there for each other.
2. Do good deeds for others without expecting anything in return I came across the following quote: It will return to you surprisingly." I'm not sure how to feel about it. It is accurate, for one thing. When you do good deeds, you really never know how they will repay you.
On the other hand, I always want my children to help other people. They are doing it because it is the right thing to do, not because they believe it will bring them good luck or something like that.
3. Give people second chances, but do so wisely. In our family, we forgive one another and give people second chances when they make mistakes. Everybody makes errors. They deserve an opportunity to demonstrate to you that they have grown and changed, as long as they acknowledge their mistakes (more on that in a moment).
I don't want my children to grow up believing that they are defined by their past. teaches them valuable lessons for life? Yes. supports their development? Absolutely. But does it define who they are now? No, not the least bit.
Nevertheless, I do not want my children to allow others to repeatedly harm them. That rule also has a second part: judiciously grant second chances. Forgive if someone accidentally hurts you and sincerely apologizes. However, they are demonstrating their true nature to you if they intentionally hurt you. They won't give you a second chance to fall.
4. Take responsibility for your actions. People who take responsibility for their actions get second chances. Thus, assuming my children need one, first they need to show me that they're willing to get a sense of ownership with anything that they fouled up in any case. They must acknowledge that their actions have harmed someone else and offer an apology as though they actually mean it (preferably because they do mean it).
However, being remorseful for one's actions is only one aspect of taking responsibility for one's own actions. When they do something right, it's also about being proud of them. It's tied in with possessing Each of their activities great and terrible.
I believe they should realize that negative activities have unfortunate results, yes. However, I also want them to be aware that good deeds have good repercussions (the word itself does not imply anything negative; it simply means "a result or effect of an action or condition.") that their efforts are rewarded, and that they alone are accountable for realizing their dreams.
5. Listen to what other people are saying. This one is easy and doesn't need much explanation. My expectations for my children's manners include actively listening to other people's conversations.
Once in a while, that implies not blocking out something since it doesn't intrigue them. Sometimes, you have to wait until your turn to speak in a conversation that actually interests them. Sincerely, I believe that the second is actually harder for the majority of children. I think the world would be much more peaceful if more people took the time to actively listen to each other. Although not complete world peace, it would be significantly more than we currently have.
6. Talk back, but do so with respect. "Don't talk back" is one of my least favorite family rules. I want my children to "talk back," ask questions, and gain a deeper comprehension of the reasons I tell them they can't do something. Kids are more likely to listen to you if they also feel heard, in my opinion.
However, they must do so in a respectful manner, and this is a big but. It is grounds for a time out if I say, "No, I'm sorry, you can't go to your friend's house tonight," and they start yelling about how unfair I am and how much they hate me. Then again, assuming they express in a quiet way that they don't have the foggiest idea why I will not permit it and pleasantly request explanation, I carve out opportunity to make sense of my reasons.
I do this for two reasons. First and foremost, it teaches my children how to have an open and civil conversation with someone with whom they disagree, which is a skill that many adults in today's society require to be taught.
Second, I believe it is dangerous to teach children to blindly follow orders simply because an authority figure "said so." More children are mishandled by grown-ups that they see as power figures, and they oblige what's requested from them since they're instructed not to "argue" to adults. Along these lines, I believe that they should pose inquiries when something doesn't feel right.
7. Be yourself, believe in yourself, and stand up for yourself "Be and believe in yourself" may sound like an odd family rule or at least one that is difficult to uphold, but it is actually one of our most important values. You will understand why in a moment if you bear with me.
I would never want my children to hide their true selves from the outside world or to hide parts of their personalities just to please other people. I want them to truly accept who they are, pursue their interests, and do what they love. to believe that they are beautiful and distinctive in the same way that everyone else on the planet is.
I also want my kids to be able to stand on their own two feet and never feel like they have to defend something they love. I want them to understand that it is acceptable to like something even if your friends don't, and that no one has the right to sour their mood.
Together, this three-section rule not just assists my children with feeling more certain and content just being themselves, yet it assists them with keeping away from peer pressure. In my opinion, it goes much further than simply stating, "Just say no" or "Don't jump off a bridge just because your friends are."
8. Try something on your own first, and if you need help, ask for it. I want to raise responsible children who can do things on their own. I also want them to know that asking for help is always acceptable and that I will always be there for them.
Therefore, "try first, then ask" is one of our family's rules. Clearly, in accordance with logic and common sense. I don't want my kids to try dangerous or age-inappropriate activities first. Additionally, I do not anticipate doing anything that they physically cannot.
However, if it's something they could do on their own, I expect them to try first. I anticipate that they won't be too proud to ask for help if they can't do it on their own.
9. Do not exercise emotional control. Take control of how you react to those feelings.
It really bothered me when I saw a list of "rules every parent should give their kids" that included "control your emotions." By their very nature, emotions can't be controlled. They arrive when they do and depart when they leave. They will explode out of us at the worst possible time if we keep them inside and act like they don't exist. Trust me, I know.
The way we feel at any given time is beyond our control. However, we ARE able to control our responses to those feelings. We DO have control over whether or not we let those feelings influence how we treat other people. Therefore, I have a rule: Do not try to contain your feelings or control them, but do control how you react to other people.
For instance, when I'm having a really bad day, I don't just try to pretend that everything is fine. I acknowledge my sadness or rage and feel my emotions. Perhaps I work it out with my significant other or let my children in on why I'm feeling blue (assuming something's suitable to discuss with them, obviously). What I don't do, however, is take it out on them or let those sentiments influence how I treat them.
10. Even if you're angry, always say "I love you" before going to bed. "Never go to bed angry" sounds great in theory, but it's flawed in practice. Sometimes, just because it's bedtime, you can't get over someone who really irritates you. "Don't bottle up your emotions" is directly contradicted by pretending that you are no longer angry.
As a result, I follow a different rule than the one that says my children must get ready before going to bed: every night, even if you're really mad at each other, always say "I love you." This really lays the groundwork for me to teach my kids that you can still love each other even if you don't agree or even like each other all the time.
